Cigarette Smoking Litterbugs

Many municipalities are reporting littering as an endangered misdemeanor. Fewer and fewer Americans litter, as more parents teach their children how uncool it is to leave one’s mess around, not unlike animals walking off their droppings, instead of picking up and dumping in the ubiquitous trash cans installed with the property tax they fork out.

Except for one segment of the population: cigarette smokers. Thumbing their noses at the litter ordinances or everything else civilized society expects of its members – consideration for others, common courtesy, decency, good manners – these sociopaths flick the cigarette ash into the air and toss the butts everywhere.

What accounts for this widespread in your face defiance and depravity? It may well be some concerted activism organized and directed by a national union of theirs. After all they have been under attack from the nonsmoking public enough to bond with a strong victim mentality. Unfortunately, we’ll never know the details of its bylaws and agenda because of their illegal and secret nature, unless FBI, CIA, NSA got into the act, except they may all be bought off already by the well-heeled cigarette lobby.

But no such coordination may be necessary because each individual smoker is unalterably programed to behave exactly as they do by a quirk in their genetic makeup, a defect, something vital missing in the DNA, resulting in insensitivity, lack of imagination, low IQ, which predisposes them to tobacco addiction to begin with and compels them to rebel and deviate. In other words, they are too dumb to perceive a life-threatening danger because it is not present and visible but around the corner a few blocks off. They’ll up and shoot you dead if you cut them with a knife but smile and snuggle when offered a puff.

Insensitivity blinds them to the harm they do to others and would have gone on compromising as many as possible, had it not been for the recent laws against secondary smoking. The same insensitivity may also distort their view of themselves into that of benefactors to the economy, paying the high tax on tobacco, which entitles them to some special privileges like littering.

Or could it be their corporate sense of fatality, the sentence of death hanging over their heads, reliable science predicting their life span to be at least a quarter shorter than the average? In other words, they may be desperados, prepared to die for their creed or need like the suicide bombers. But that calls for escalation of our defenses accordingly, to the highest level.

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